Hold me closer

Our co sleeping days are long gone. This year I've experienced full nights of sleep for the first time since I was pregnant with Greyson ...and I love it. It's hard being on your game (wether the game is at work or at home, playing an actual game) when you've had so little sleep. I'm glad our kids sleep in their room now, I do. But I must admit that sometimes I miss them. 

I miss Amelia's sweaty hair pressed up against my face. I miss the way Greyson's feet always find the small of my back, leaving me terribly uncomfortable all the next day. I know it's weird but I do miss it. 

Luckily some mornings right around 6am one, and sometimes both, of them finds their way into my bed. This morning it was Amelia. 

She snuggled down next to me and wrapped her arm around my face. Resting her palm against my cheek, her cheek on my other cheek. I pulled her in for hugs and she fell back to sleep clinging to me. It felt good. 

Sometime when I hold her tight on these early morning it is like this moment all over again. Amazed that this wonderful person is here in the world and so thankful it's my arms that get to hold her. 

I hate bedtime

I think my biggest failing as a mommy (for the moment) is that I have ZERO patience for bedtime shenanigans. When Greyson won't lay and STAY laying down while we read books it just drives me crazy. When he's constantly going up and down the bed I just want to throttle him. Really I just want to shut him in his room and walk away. I have no patience for this.

Michael on the other hand is WONDERFUL with bedtime. He puts Greyson to bed most nights and honestly I don't know how he does it without ripping out his hair. I can't take it.

Once Greyson goes to sleep he's been much better about staying asleep, so that is something. But seriously, bedtime has never been something this family has done well and it shows! We have got to be better about it and I really hope that we get a handle on it and MayBaby proves to be a better sleeper than her brother.

AHHH!!!

Re-Visiting "The Sleep Lady"

Sleep and Greyson.

Oh my word, sleep (or LACK there of) and Greyson seems to be ever on the forefront of my mind. Even as a NICU baby this kid didn't sleep. Most of the time when I was up there his eyes would be open, just checking out the world. I should have known then we were in for trouble!

Over the weekend we switched Greyson's Room (now called the Blue Room) and the Office (now called the Green Room). It was a great move. The Blue Room is now a CHILD-FREE office for Michael and I. Greyson is not allowed in this room, we have a baby-gate up and it is off limits. Just having a space where we can put things that ought not be touched by little hands is amazing! Plus it will be so nice to have work projects out and know that they won't be messed up the moment my back is turned.

The Green Room will hold both Greyson and Little Bird #2 by next fall. Little Bird #2 will start off in our room for the first few months. But currently Greyson is enjoying the room all to himself. When we moved his bed into the Green Room he kept shouting "Bed! Bed!". Never before has he been so excited about his bed. He hopped right in an put his head on the pillow. We took this new excitement about his bed and the move to make some changes to our sleep routines, so we pulled out The Sleep Lady Book and other suggestions from friends and family and brushed up on what to do.

1) We've brought in a CD player. It plays Emerald Isle, a really soothing CD of Celtic melodies that include pipes, fiddle, guitar and piano. It was actually the CD I planned to listen too during Greyson's birth. Anyway he likes the music and I think it helps distract him from the noises on the house as well and soothes him.

2) No more laying in bed with Greyson. We used to read and sing to Greyson while laying in bed with him, then he would fuss when we left the bed. Well no more. Now we are reading and singing from a chair next to the bed. At bedtime Greyson's bed is for Greyson only!

3) Sleep Lady Shuffle. Last night and tonight I sat in a chair next to Greyson's bed while he fell asleep. I'd rub his back from time to time and say "Shh" etc. until he fell asleep. Really it didn't take too long (YAY!!) and it's a step to getting him to sleep with us right there with him. I'll do it again tomorrow night. Then Wednesday night I'll move my little chair to the doorway and for the next 3 nights I'll be shushing from there. Eventually he'll be going to sleep with out us in the room.


I think that getting us out of his bed is really important right now. We co-slept a lot these past 2 years, and frankly I wouldn't have done it any differently - all of us needed the closeness - but now it is time for him to be comfortable sleeping alone. When he's been waking up in the middle of this night (something he DIDN'T do last night) he seems to be the most upset at finding himself in bed alone. Hopefully once he is used to going to sleep alone it won't bother him if he wakes up at 1:00am and he'll be able to go back to sleep without a problem.

So I'm hoping this room switch and new sleep plan helps. After all, we'll be dealing with a whole new baby in 6 months!

Still Screwed From Vacation

We co-slept while on vacation last week (2 weeks ago?) and we all loved it. The problem is ever since we came home Greyson refuses to sleep on his own again. We are back to square one in the sleep department.

AHHHHH!!!!

We are all tired and cranky over here.

Greyson, please, please sleep ALONE through the night again!

There is no report

I'm afraid of jinxing the sleep situation.

Night 1 Report

Well it wasn't as bed as I thought it would be!

It went well...well, better than I expected.

We've tried ALL the gentle methods: No Cry Sleep Solution, The Sleep Lady, Co-sleeping, nursing to sleep, not nursing to sleep. You name it we've tried it. He just doesn't sleep well and it's hurting us all - including him. On the very few nights when he has slept 6 or 8 hours in a row he is SOOO much happier all day. Know he's tired all the time and that much more prone to having a full on tantrum - which always involves him banging his head. This weekend he split the skin on his forehead from all the banging. He's like an angry little zombie. So, much to my deep sadness we are sleep training/crying it out, for the sake of his poor little brusied head if nothing else.

So tonight, per his Speech Therapist's advice, we started the bedtime process earlier than normal. So at 7:15 he got a bath, by 7:30 he was in bed and DH is reading books for another few min then we are starting the sleep training. Greyson's therapist even told me "You have a VERY stubborn child. Don't be surprised if he screams at you for 3 hours every night this week." Oh great...

Luckily we didn't have 3 hours of screaming! I put a baby-gate up across his doorway and every 20 min. I went in and put him back into his bed and told him, "It's time to go to sleep". I' kept a timer with me! Man, 20 min is a LONG time with a screaming baby.

So last night after about an hour and a half he was suddenly quiet. I waited 5 min and went in to check on him. He was fast asleep at the foot of this bed, one leg hanging off the bed! It's like he was climbing back into bed after realizing just how tired he was and couldn't make it all the way. He had Smooch Lion tightly in his arms. It was so cute. I moved him all the way into bed and did a little dance of joy! He was asleep before 9:00pm!! That NEVER happens.

He slept until Midnight then woke up screaming. We had brought a timer into bed with us and set it for 5 min. So as soon as he woke up we hit the timer. After 5 min I went in and put him back to bed, just saying "It's bedtime." We only had to do that 3 times at midnight, so less than 20 min before he climbed back into his bed and went to sleep.

Then he slept until 3:30am, when we had a nearly exact repeat of the midnight situation. It took us three "checks" before he went to sleep.

He slept until 7:00 this morning and woke up in a better mood than he has in a LONG time! Plus his diaper wasn't soaked - which makes since because I didn't nurse him at all last night when normally it's an "all-night mom buffet". I'm hoping he'll eat better today because of that.

We had been waiting until 8:00 to START the bedtime routine. We started earlier last night (7:30ish) and I'm hoping to start at 7:00 tonight. I'm heard from a lot of people that an earlier bed time is key.

All in all I think it was a success. We will be sticking with this, for his sake!

Serious About Sleep Training

I've let things get to a very bad place. I take full responsibility and am prepared to face the consequences. Greyson WILL NOT SLEEP ALONE. It's bad and it's just gotten worse over the past few weeks. Bad, Bad. This family is existing on little to no sleep. The screaming and tantrum throwing has reached an impressive and staggering level. There is only one thing left to do - all out sleep training.

For the next 7 days (and infinitely after that) we will be STRONG parents. We are in charge and it is time for our little boy to learn how to sleep.

Right now he is in his room (SCREAMING) but it is nap time. I read him 3 books, gave him a cup of milk, told him I loved him then left the room. The baby gate is up and he can not leave the room. He needs to take a nap, but I will also take 30 min of quiet playing. I've gone in there twice, picked him up and put him back in bad saying "It is nap time" then left the room. It's not going well, but I know that this needs to happen. He's almost 2 years old and it's time.

I hate this.

UPDATE: Well after about 45 min of SCREAMING and I'm sure calling me all sorts of bad names, Greyson climbed into his bed and took a measly 30 min nap. But I'll take it and call it a victory!

Right now he is working on nap #2. It's not going as well. He is SUPER tired. I've gone in 3 times in the past hour. Each time carrying him back to his bed, giving him Smooch Lion and just saying "It's nap time". What I want to do is snuggle him close and tell him I love him more than anything in the world.

I just need him to get 30 min of sleep. If he doesn't nap well he's even worse at night. I am not looking forward to doing this all night long.

I love you Greyson and I'm sorry...

NO SLEEP FOR GREYSON!

Or his VERY tired parents!
Greyson is on a wicked nap strike. 4 days no naps over 20 min and some days none at all. NO NAPS. This makes him an even worse nighttime sleeper - if that is even possible!

Last night he woke up at 1:00am and was AWAKE until 5:30am. He then slept for just over 2 hours and was AWAKE again...all day. He is just so tired he can't or won't sleep.

Thank goodness for Michael! We are taking shifts with him at night. It's like having a newborn all over again!

Big Boy Bed

2 months ago Greyson did a header out of his crib. It knocked the wind out of him and scared me half to death. But I didn't have the crib in it's correct setting, so bad mommy and lesson learned.

We corrected the crib and all was well for a month, then both my mom and I caught him with his foot over the railing trying to pull himself out of the crib (at 18 months - 15.5 adjusted). So we started having him sleep in a twin bed instead of the crib. Last night we packed away the crib! He's sleeping full time in a big boy bed! Seriously how did he get to be such a big boy already? He's not even 20 months old?

And speaking of big. I was looking at him tonight and thinking "wow his legs are really long!" So I pulled out the measuring tape and from heel to hip he's 15 inches long - exactly his length at birth! His leg is the same size as his whole body was!

Everyday he does something to remind me that even though he started out small, he is mighty! I just want to hold him tight and tell him to stop growing up so fast!

I can still remember the terror that came along with having a preemie, but more and more the good things about Greyson are overshadowing that fear. It just takes time. These amazing babies really do grow up to be even more amazing kids. Preemies Rock!

Climbing into his Big Boy Bed all by himself.

He was the same size as his leg!

Bedtime with Daddy

We transitioned Greyson out of his crib and into a twin bed 2 weeks ago because he was trying to climb out of the crib and getting dangerously close to succeeding. He sleeps fairly well in the the new bed, but unlike the crib, we can't just put him down drowsy. He'll just climb out of the bed and find us. So we have to lay down with him until he falls asleep. Michael has been doing this most nights because if I'm in the room all Greyson wants to do it nurse.

I love nursing him, but I'm trying to separate nursing and sleeping, so no more falling asleep while nursing. So bedtime is now Daddy time. I think they both really enjoy it. They read books for awhile, then the light gets turned off and they just lay in bed until Greyson goes to sleep. Sadly this can be a LONG process. Sometimes close to 2 hours. But it's working and we don't have to worry about our child taking a nose-dive out of the crib at 2am.

I think the guy-time before bed is great for both of them. This week I've seen the bond between father and son grow stronger. Greyson, while he has always loved his daddy, he is now picking being with him over being with me. And I'm okay with that, really.

I'd be even happier if Greyson would stay in bed all night though :)

In and Out of the Crib

This weekend we tired having Greyson sleep without his crib. After a week of barely a nap I was ready to try anything. So on my Mom's advice we took his mattress out the crib and made him a bed on the floor. It was great in some ways and not great in others. We let Greyson play on the bed and just generally hang out there. He liked spending time on it and putting his head on the pillow.

I actually got 2 good naps out of him! Unfortunately I have to lay with him until he completely goes to sleep for him to stay on the bed. This just isn't practical for us. So we put the mattress back in the crib today, but arranged the pillow and blankets so it looks just like the bed he had fun playing on over the weekend. I even put him in the crib for a few min today and he happily played in there. I'm hoping that this change-a-roo will help him to like the crib again.

We'll see how tonight goes.

trying to night ween again

Greyson was sleeping through the night for awhile, then he caught a cold and we fell back into the nursing several times a night routine. Really I don't mind nursing him at night, but he tends to be a happier baby when he gets longer stretches of sleep.

So last night instead of getting up twice, maybe three times for 10 min each time, we were up for HOURS. Oh the screaming. It was not good my friends. I'm really hoping that tonight will be better.

Sleep and the Little Boy

As a baby, Greyson was a terrible sleeper. He was King of the 20 minute nap and he woke up every 2 to 3 hours (or less) all night long. I co-slept with him mainly so I could get some sleep. It was a long year in that aspect.

But something has changed lately and Greyson is finally sleeping at night. We regularly get 8 hours in a row from him, and once this week got 10 hours. It is amazing! Everyone is happier when we all get some sleep.

Truth be told, I do kind of miss our 3am cuddling. There is something sweet about rocking your baby in the still of the night with the moonlight coming through the window...

But that does not mean I want to do that again with Greyson! Keep up the good sleeping little boy!

Attempting to stop co-sleeping

With Greyson's 1st birthday just weeks away I decided it was time to stop co-sleeping. Normally we put him to bed and he will sleep in his crib for the first 4 hours. Then he wakes up and wants to eat, so we snuggle in the twin bed in his room. He alternates between eating and sleeping and I alternate between sleeping and feeding. The best part about this has been that I don't have to fully wake up. Well that and snuggling my baby most of the night.

No, I never worried about rolling over him. No, I never worried about him rolling off the bed. Even in my sleep I knew where he was every moment.

Now I'm trying to have him sleep in his crib all night long. What this has meant for me is that instead of waking up once then spending the rest of the night cuddling my baby and sleeping, I'm now getting out of bed 4+ times during the night, staying awake to feed him then going back to my bed where I struggle to fall back to sleep because I know it is just matter of time before he wakes up again.

Right now the pro v. con list is firmly on the side of continuing to co-sleep, yet I'm still going to try to stop. I think it is the first step before we can night ween. I just don't think I'll have the energy to handle a walking and running little boy in the coming year if I can't get at least 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Last night the longest stretch he slept was just shy of 4 hours. The shortest, 1 hour and 35 min.