A Moment for Modesty

I often say that I lost all my modesty in the months surrounding Greyson's birth. First because a whole team of doctors and nurses were all "up in my business" trying to keep Greyson put, then after wards as a different team of doctors and nurses helped me to pump and eventually breastfeed my son. After you have had a serious conversation with a doctor about your baby's health while milk is being pumped out of you, I think it's safe to say your perspective on modesty changes.

I have no problem breastfeeding my son whenever and wherever he needs it. Last week it was while walking down the aisle at a school supply store (thank goodness for hip holds!). The week before that it was at a parade. I've proudly nursed him all over town. We long ago hung up the nursing cover. Greyson hates to be covered up when eating and it's just not worth the fight. I refuse to hide the fact that I am feeding my baby. That is what breasts are for after all - feeding our offspring. I am not at all modest when it comes to this.

I am however very modest when it comes to breasts as sexual objects. I do not like to wear low-cut shirts or dresses and when I do I'm constantly worried about showing too much cleavage. Yesterday I wore a dress that I would normally wear a cami under to help mask the girls, but I wore it without the cami. I was freaked out all day. I had to keep reminding myself that I was showing a fraction of what the rest of the women walking around were showing. Also length. My dress, which I also felt was a little too short was inches longer than what most women my age seem to be wearing. It sounds so prudish but it's true. I don't like to "show off the goods".

It's a weird dichotomy. Breasts as a way to feed my son - no problem. Breast as sexual objects - thanks, but I'll keep them covered up. Well, to anyone but my husband.

I guess I'm just more modest than I give myself credit for being.