Witty comebacks for replying to breastfeeding harassment.
Here are some of my favorites!
"Are you still nursing?"
"Everyone asks that, it must be because he's so incredibly healthy."
"Yes, he deserves only the very best. "
"Of course, I am glad you keep asking. It shows you want the best for him."
"When are you planning on weaning?"
"When are you planning on minding your own business?"
"I hope not for a while. We're both enjoying our time together."
"I don't know. He seems to still enjoy it and I enjoy those extra 500 calories I burn."
"Breastfeeding is gross!"
"So is changing diapers, yet people do it all the time."
"Hello? Did you not realize that humans are mammals?"
"Seems to me that you have some issues you need to work out."
"Why would you want to nurse when you can just get formula?"
"Gee, I don’t know. It must have something to do it with being free, always the right temperature, portable, what nature intended, and the best way I can nourish my baby."
"Have you checked out the price of formula lately?"
"You should go feed her in the bathroom."
"Do YOU eat in the bathroom?"
"If my breastfeeding offends you, I will be happy to ask your waiter to bring you your food in the restroom."
"Don’t you want your husband to be able to bond with the baby?"
"You’re right, holding the baby, talking to the baby, changing the baby, bathing the baby, and spending time just being with the baby sure won’t be enough for him to bond with the baby."
"You want to get up in the middle of the night to nurse?"
"I’d rather nurse in my sleep than schlep to the kitchen and try to mix, heat up, and feed my baby formula in my sleep … because I sure do love sleeping."
"We co-sleep. I just roll over, give him the breast, and go back to snoozing!"
"Isn't he a little old for that?"
"What?! He's not even out of diapers!"
"Aren't you a little old to be randomly coming up to strangers and asking impolite questions?"
"He doesn't NEED to nurse at this age!"
(laugh) "Where did you hear that?"
"And you don't NEED to eat that doughnut, but you still are."
Miscellaneous Responses
"If you are offended by me doing this, then you are looking too closely."
"Do you often look this closely at women's breasts?"
6 comments:
too funny!
These are great!
I have recently come to the conclusion that the perfect response to any question raised about my parenting skills will be a smile and a, "I'm sorry-- I am afraid I am not quite sure I understand why you care?"
This whole breastfeeding vs. formula stuff is so much more controversial than I ever imagined. Mamas are a tough bunch!
The doughnut one was my favorite.
Ok, so I'll admit that I'm a little jealous that I'm not breastfeeding anymore. I so loved it!!! I think that deep down, idiots who feel they need to say something to breastfeeding mothers are a little jealous too. Maybe they weren't breastfed or they didn't breastfeed their kids. If I ran into you and saw you breastfeeding Greyson in public and I didn't recognize you were wearing a Groucho Marx disguise, I wouldn't say anything at all... but if I did feel really compelled to say something, I'd probably just confess that I miss breastfeeding and that I'm a little jealous (and I might ask about why you're wearing a disguise?)
I hope you never have to use any of these comebacks!!!
I've had some people give me funny looks, especially now that Grey's older. But I've never had anything negative said.
I just thought these were a hoot.
Hey there! It was so great to see you both yesterday at the NICU! I cannot believe how big Greyson is getting... you are doing such a wonderful job with him and kudos to you for nursing this long. It keeps them healthy... I nursed for 20 months and had the healthiest little girl for it (and she still is healthy at almost 4). Hope to see you at the MOD walk, and thanks for the cookies! :)
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