It's the NICU shuffle

How does it go again? Oh yeah, two steps forward, one step back.
We just stepped back.

Greyson had some HUGE destats this morning. They don't tell you these thigns in the NICU. They sugar coat - I found this out by reading his chart. And good thing I did because 45 min later the doctor came in and told me he wants to put Greyson back on the nasal cannula. I was floored. He's been off of it for awhile now and when he is not destating he keeps his stats at a happy 99 or 100. But since he dropped so low this morning (in the 20's) and needed serious help to get back (the CPAP - the huge one that forces oxygen into his lungs) it's clear that something needed to happen and really I support any measure that helps Greyson.

That doesn't change the fact that I don't like it. After the doc left I just sat there holding my sweet sleeping boy and cried. When Paxton the respiratory guy came in to fit the cannula I had to leave. It just made me so sad. I got to see his whole face for less than 24 hours and now he has the cannula again and this sets us back on his coming home. sigh.

You'd think I'd get used to the ups and downs of the NICU, but no. The downs are always a shock.